I’m not feeling it.

This whole week has been a frenzy of activity. I’ve been reading, singing, coding, creating apps, brainstorming for hours at school, and doing my school work on top of all that. I guess you could call that a busy week for 14-year old standards. And if that wasn’t enough, I realized that I hadn’t written a blog post!

Today morning was extremely windy and cold and dark and rainy(which is what i love), and I was trying to enjoy the rain, but all my mind could think of was,”Uhhhhh, it’s Sundayyyyy. I gotta write some stuff, whyyyy?” No part of my body felt like pushing buttons on a screen and hitting Publish in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I would get a solid 15 views on this post. Only to do this again next week. From scratch. I’m not saying I don’t like blogging (that is absolutely false), it’s just that I’d rather put my brain in a blender than write today.

Maybe I feel like this because I started blogging with the unrealistic hopes of getting a million followers in a year, and until now, I really thought it was possible. I am addicted to the idea of success and fame, and I used to believe that blogging would let me achieve my dreams as quickly as possible. And the realization that success isn’t even guaranteed, let alone easily achievable, has shaken me up considerably over the past few weeks.

So is success really achievable? Is it worth putting all your time, energy, strength and willpower just to make sure that your dreams are achieved? What if you don’t have big dreams? What if you just want a cheeseburger, and don’t care about getting a degree in experimental psychology? Is it okay to risk everything you know and have to just follow your passions?

Yes and no. But don’t just take my word for it.

It is valid to be obsessed with your dreams. It is not valid to sit on your couch with a coke in your hand and complain that your dreams haven’t been fulfilled. Work ethic is key to success, as you’ll see in next week’s post. So get off the couch. Work hard and enjoy the process of working hard. Work till your work pushes you forward. And once you reach your goal, revel in your success and find a new goal to work towards.

However, I think it’s wrong to get so caught up in one particular goal that you forget that there are other goals you can achieve. That’s very messed up. I used to be obsessed with learning to play basketball at school, but I never felt in love with the sport. Then last week I made the decision to change my sport to football, and I love it. I guess the key is to do as many things as possible at a young age, and figure out what you’re best at as you grow up.

That’s what blogging is to me. A chance to explore. I’m coming up on my blog’s 3-month anniversary this Saturday and I can’t begin to describe how happy I and grateful I am. I have learnt so much from this writing endeavor and I’m excited to see what I can come up with next. Sure, there will be rough patches. But no pain, no gain, right?

“I have to face life with a newly found passion. I must rediscover the irresistible will to learn, to live and to love.” —Andrea Bocelli

2 thoughts on “I’m not feeling it.

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