To all my friends who take the time to read my blog, first of all, thank you. 2019 has been weirdly vivid and extremely terrifying in equal measures, and if you made it to the end with me, thank you. Second: this year has shown me what real fear feels like. It reaches to the deepest corner of your mind and it penetrates into your soul, and you definitely don’t feel like your best when it comes around. So those of you who went through a scary phase and came out alive, congratulations. You get to live another day, and I respect your resilience. Those of you fighting with regret over the things you couldn’t accomplish, it’s okay. 2020 is right around the corner, and god only knows what you’ll achieve. So keep going strong.

And most importantly: to those who embarked on journeys feeling scared, alone and out of love, but still persisted, I send all my strength out to you. You are a real player, and no matter what the circumstance, I assure you that in 2020, good things will come right to your doorstep.

Happy New Year.


The 20's Are Coming

It’s finally here. The year’s ending, and I couldn’t be more glad, honestly. It means I get to write my decade in review! Here we go.

Top Achievements

  1. Attending the Counter Speech Fellowship. July-Sep 2019
  2. This is a petty one, but 40 trophies. 2010-2019
  3. Cycling 17 kilometres in under an hour and then falling very very sick, skipping the first week of ninth grade. March 2018
  4. Starting this blog 🙂 January 2018
  5. Performing in front of a live crowd at the CSF graduation. Sep 2019

Top Goofs

  1. The first one is so embarrassing I wish I could crawl into the earth and stay there forever. April 2019
  2. I didn’t attempt several questions in my 80 mark tests, which disturbs me more than I had expected. Oct & Dec 2019
  3. I called Alexa Alekhya and was confused why she wasn’t responding. Nov 2019

Biggest Lessons Learnt

  1. You gotta stop living your life so delicately, man. You’re allowed to make mistakes and grow from them. Dec 2019
  2. You ain’t getting nowhere without practice. Dec 2019
  3. There are more interesting things in life than the idea of a person. Oct 2019
  4. Let loose, man. 2016-2019
  5. If you don’t comb your hair, it’s gonna end up looking like sh*t. 2012-forever

Much Excite

  1. Discovering TwoSet Violin, the YouTube channel that fulfills all my musical desires. Dec 2019
  2. Going to Goa, then coming back and going on a spontaneous flight to Darjeeling by myself. May 2019
  3. My first live drama, in which I did something besides narrating. I played the role of a pig. Dec 2018

Biggest Skills I’m Holding Onto

  1. Learning Chinese and Spanish. 2015–
  2. Learning to play the guitar, ukulele and keyboard. 2010–
  3. Cycling everyday. 2018–
  4. Writing. 2016–
  5. My undying curiosity for anything even remotely interesting. 2015–

Goals for the 20’s

  1. Fluency at as many new languages as possible. 2020-2030
  2. Finish my guitar grades. 2024
  3. Travel to at least 5 different countries. 2020-2030 (please, mom and dad)

To all my friends, I hope you had a great decade and I hope you have an even greater 2020. Happy New Year!


19 – Spotify Playlist


My Resolution for January (Not the whole year, please)

It’s pretty simple:

No YouTube. At all.

I’ve always loved YouTube for its endless (and sometimes mindless) streaming of content, and ever since I got my own phone, I feel like my addiction’s only gotten worse.

Also, in a recent study, it was found that we often tend to mirror the YouTubers we watch a lot, so that probably explains my constant introspection and nihilistic thinking (I watch a lot of Vlogbrothers).

So, for my first New Year resolution, I’m committing to no YouTube on weekdays, followed by 15 minutes of reward time on the weekend. I’m not doing this for the whole year, because resolutions don’t work for so long. Instead, on the first day of every month, I will announce my monthly resolution and tell you how it went the next month.

Let’s see how this goes!

Photo by Carl Heyerdahl on Unsplash


To A Year Well Spent

Thank you for teaching me, even if at the very end, that life is so much more than just you.

Thank you for showing me how to lose a version of myself that I no longer want or love.

Thank you for all the friends I made and all the friends I let go of, and all the friends I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for teaching me how not to let my emotions control my actions and how to conquer every second of my existence.

To a year well spent:

Thank you.



Happy New Year – by Thoughts of an Ellie

It's Probably Fine

As far as years go, 2018 has been a significant one. From 120 million people gaining access to electricity this year to the fall of US cigarette use to the lowest amount ever recorded by the CDC, we’ve set precedents and taken steps towards the world we aim to become. The end of the year is an important and nostalgic time to look back and recognize our successes and shortcomings both in our world and ourselves.

Who we were in years past influences who we are now, but if I met the person I was last year on the street, I don’t think I’d like her very much. 2017 me was a bit of a chaotic mess. She was a stressed perfectionist who cared way too much about what total strangers thought of her. In the words of John Mulaney, she acted like she was “running for mayor of nothing.”…

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4 Ways to Start Your Year Right

Photo by Matt Duncan on Unsplash

Be grateful and move on.

As Ariana Grande so eloquently put it:

“thank u, next.”

This is going to be my motto for the entire year, because it captures the act of gratitude so well. Being grateful and moving on doesn’t apply only to your exes, but rather any situation in life, whether good or bad.

No matter what happens in life this year, promise to yourself that you will say thank you as a mark of respect and gratitude, and let it go. No matter how good or bad. No matter how happy or sad.

Be grateful and move on.

Call your friends.

It’s the new year! Go out and be social! You’re only going to be able to enjoy the New Year’s Eve of 2019 once, so please don’t waste it by saying you’d rather spend it all alone. I’m all in for peaceful solitude, but only when human interaction becomes too much. If you feel like this on NYE, find yourself a group of friends who make you feel better.

No matter what you do, DO. NOT. BE. ALONE. Not when people matter.

John Green once said, “What you do doesn’t matter as much as who you do it with.”

Do yourself a favour.

Listen to John.

Be okay with boring.

Too often we find ourselves in a heightened state of emotions, and we believe that this is how our life is going to be forever. On a high. Full of adrenaline, and things to keep you up at night and wake you up in the morning. But the moment you see that life isn’t always as exciting as you expect it to be, you go into a state of withdrawal. And that can be painful. Really painful, if you believe that being boring is as good as being, well, not alive. I’m not saying that being boring is the way to live life.

I’m just saying that being boring is okay.

This year, choose stability over constant uncertainty. Choose balance over too much of one and too little of the other.

Dream as big as you can.

Being boring doesn’t mean you need to make your dreams down to earth too. As much as possible, make sure that your dreams are so big, that they even scare you sometimes. Make your dream the most real, most beautiful version of your life you could think of. And please don’t be afraid to dream big. I’m not sure who said this, but they said, “Most dissatisfaction in life isn’t because people couldn’t reach their goal. It’s because people thought of a goal and people only reached that much.”

Don’t try to justify your dreams to everyone. Just don’t forget them.