She is Fire, and Nothing Else.

People don't get it 
When she burns herself down
They think she does it for the attention.
Nah, she does it for herself.

She takes all that rage inside her
And uses it to grow flowers.
She accepts all the hate in her
And turns it into something that the world will love. 

And like the wind that blows out weak fires
And fans the strong ones,
Her fire keeps her warm,
And shows her the way in the dark.

Just be careful, though.
The same fire that lights up your heart
Could be enough
For her to burn you down.

Some might think she's rain.
Some say she's a hurricane.
My friend, she is fire and nothing else.
And maybe just a little pain.

Photo by Henry Be on Unsplash

Be Not Silent – Mary Walker

“Do not be silent.
Do not sideline
yourself
to the imagined power
of another.
This silence you stand in
begs you, 
answer.

Be silent only
on your terms,
for your own listening,
for hearing
what you long to speak,
and when your voice rises—
speak it.

When words inflate
your chest,
heart beating ahead
of your mind,
drumming its path for you,
it is time.

Even as your palms sweat,
know this—
your body does not fear the speaking;
it does not fear being heard.
As you stand trembling,
as you hover
on the lip of voice—
all your body fears
is that you might stay silent
yet again.”

9 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Do

Featured Image by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash


This post was created with inspiration from Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, read through another book, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, by Brianna Wiest.


They don’t assume that thoughts equal reality.

Emotionally intelligent people recognize their emotions as responses, not accurate gauges, of what’s going on. Most of the time, our feelings happen to be related to our own, objective perspective of a situation, not what’s actually going on. So next time when your mind tells you your life sucks (or something on the same spectrum of thought), stop for a second and tell yourself this:

My thoughts are not my reality.

They don’t let their emotions depend on others’ actions.

This is something that we usually hear. We’ve all read the quote: ” Don’t leave the keys to your life in someone else’s hands.” I guess you have. If you haven’t before, now you have!

Realize that your emotions aren’t somebody else’s fault, and therefore, not anyone else’s problem. Tell yourself that whatever you’re feeling is a cause of your own actions, instead of becoming a passive aggressive grumpy person, who blames everyone else for her unpleasant state of mind.

They don’t assume to know what it is that will make them truly happy.

Let go of all expectations of what does or doesn’t make you happy. That is something that will keep changing as you grow. As a kid, drawing might make you smile, while now, you might say it’s playing the guitar.

So keep your mind open to all sorts of new things, treating each one with the same potential to be something you’ll love. Do this, and you’ll find more things to love in the world.

They don’t think that being fearful is a sign that they are on the wrong path.

In reality, indifference is a sign of being on the wrong track. Fear just means that you care about something so much that you will do anything to protect it. Such fear must be accepted, not condemned. Just don’t let this fear stop you from doing all the things that you want to do in life.

They don’t feel the need to be happy all the time.

They are aware that happiness is a choice, but not a sustained state of joy. It is not humanly possible to experience only one emotion your entire life. It doesn’t matter if that emotion is the best feeling in the world. Like happiness.

It is important that we understand that happiness is a choice, not a sustained state of joy. It is important that we allow ourselves to experience every feeling we encounter, without trying to manipulate it. The more you let go, the more you’ll feel free.

They don’t think that infallible composure means emotional intelligence.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from my half yearly exams, it’s that just because you don’t make mistakes, it doesn’t mean that you are intelligent. In most cases, it happens to be the opposite. To become truly strong, you must be willing to try, and fail miserably, many times. The more you fail, the more you know how not to fail the next time. That’s true intelligence.

They don’t think that their feelings will kill them.

This is something that I openly struggle with on a lot of occasions. I often get into a negative thought spiral, arising from my self-doubts, and before you know it, I’m questioning my existence as it were the weirdest thing that ever happened in the universe.

Over the months. I have realized that a feeling is definitely not going to shape my life (unless I want it to), and so it’s not worth losing sleep over. I’ve realized that all feelings, however ecstatic or depressing in nature, will pass with time, and so they are really not something that you should contemplate your life over.

They don’t just become close friends with anyone.

In her book How To Be A Bawse, Lilly Singh says that your mind is a huge fortress. Only you know all (or most) of its winding paths and mazes. You can invite people over for dinner to the ballroom in your fort, you might take a few on a tour of your private gallery, but you wouldn’t show someone all the little roads and rooms,  would you?

I find this to be a great analogy to show that we shouldn’t really open up to each and every person who enters our lives. We must be mindful and fully aware of who we allow into our lives and hearts.

They don’t confuse a bad feeling for a bad life.

Does this statement need any explanation, really? I think I might just make a quote out of this. Let it be your motivation for today.

feeling life.png
Photo by Evie Shaffer on Unsplash

 

8 Powerful Habits To Create During Vacations

Featured Image by Lidya Nada on Unsplash


Go cycle.

One of the best things you can do during vacations, especially in the mornings, is cycling. Not only does it boost you with motivation for the entire day, but it also helps you clear your head. Cycling is easy, not very straining on your body, and it is a great way to increase your health and stamina. So tomorrow morning, take your friends with you and go on a ride. Go on. It’ll be fun, I promise.

Read a book you never thought you would.

I emphasise on the second part of the heading. It’s easy to read a book that you know you’re gonna read because you’ve already made up your mind about it. I don’t want you to read the book you bought for your birthday, or the new book release from Hank Green, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing (although you should buy it- it’s great), or the book you’ve been wanting to read for ages. Save those for later, honey.

I want you to pick up a book from the back of your bookshelf, one that you never knew existed, or one that you simply forgot about, sit down, and read it. I want you to do this because it will open your mind to new ways to excite itself. And this applies for most things in life, not just books. By constantly finding new things that you love, you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and learning to enjoy new, completely different things in life.

Write.

Great, you’ve read a book. Now, it’s time for you to write! It doesn’t need to be really good (*cough* like this one *cough*), or properly structured. It doesn’t even need to make sense at first. All you need to do is put your thoughts out of your mind and onto paper. The more you do this, the easier it will become. This site is an example of that.

If you start to write consistently, you’ll start to notice that you’re able to think more clearly. The more you become comfortable with writing down your thoughts, the more you become comfortable with your thoughts.

Cool, eh?

Meditate.

I can almost see my friends cringing badly as they read that word. We millennials seem to hate the idea of meditating so much, but I just don’t know why. Maybe it’s because we are so used to running around doing stuff (basically just running around in circles), and we’re kinda afraid of stopping. And I totally get that.

If you can, and you honestly should, take 2 minutes out of your schedule in the morning and just breathe. If you’re drowned by your own thoughts, accept them all and continue breathing. Some great mobile apps for meditation are:

Manage your time.

Oh my god, I cannot even EXPLAIN how much time management helps you organize your life. The moment you set your priorities right and schedule everything properly, life becomes 10 times clearer. But I’m not a time-management expert. Creating a schedule that’s right for you takes lots of time and effort getting to know yourself better.

In order to properly manage time, you need to understand what uses up most of your time in the first place. Then, you need to get rid of the stuff that’s a pure waste of your time. That’s half the job done. The other half is to do the things that matter the most to you and doing them with full commitment, in the time that you have. And if you ever don’t have enough time to do the things that you want to, then make the time for them.

There’s always time.

Learn a new language.

I might have said this earlier, but I’m going to say it again. Learning a new language is the best way to use your free time. I mean it when I say that. I’ve been learning Spanish on Duolingo for more than a year now, and the experience has been extremely gratifying. There’s something very rewarding in putting a little bit of effort every day into learning something, which, over time, becomes a skill that’s stronger than you ever could imagine. The bottom line is this: learning a new language is an investment that lasts for a lifetime, and you should definitely get into it.

Socialize. With the right people.

ok, coming from an introvert, that word just sounds WRONG in my head, but I gotta admit, the experience of meeting strangers is worth it. But only if the strangers are a valuable addition to your life. Over time, such strangers become your closest and most loyal friends, who genuinely care and hope for the best for you. It’s an equally exhilarating experience to make friends with people who you never expected to be friends with.

So, to my fellow introverted friends, I encourage you to take a risk, step way outside of your comfort zone, and just go make a few new friends today. I’m going to go do that right now.

Just go make a few new friends today.

Brush your teeth twice a day.

Yeah, well, I don’t really mean just that. I mean “keep yourself well groomed and reasonably hygienic.” It’s fine if you don’t bathe sometimes. I mean, it’s the vacations! Who’s got the time or interest to bathe?! Still, you probably should love yourself enough to care about your own wellbeing. The best way to take care of yourself is by making the tasks automated. And the best way to make tasks automated is to do them first thing in the morning or last thing before sleeping. That’s how most tasks work (eg: brushing).

So, starting tomorrow, create one new self-care habit for the morning, and one for the night. It can be anything from applying moisturizing lotion on your skin to combing your hair. It doesn’t matter, as long as you do it with love (omg, so cheesy) and do it consistently.


To all  Indians: Have a happy Dusshera, and happy vacations!