I don’t really have a lot of time to write right now, because I’m about to go down and celebrate Diwali with my friends (don’t worry I’m not going to burst any crackers) but I had a lot on my mind that I needed to get it all out before I lose my thoughts.
The lights. That’s it. That’s the best part about Diwali. I’ve talked about how lights are often used to spread a sense of knowing everything, and that’s often bad. But if you ever have been part of Diwali celebrations, you’ll know that the opposite is true. As I was walking down the street in my community, I saw almost all the houses decorated with dozens of lights, and every other community had the same. It’s very rare to see so many people do the same thing and do it for the same purpose. On Diwali, all the lights are lit in our homes to spread love, unity and most importantly, courage. We light up our worlds on Diwali not to get rid of the darkness in our world, but the darkness in our hearts. We do it to make sure that whatever happens, if we follow the light, both in the world and in our hearts, we’ll never lose our way. These lights are different in ways that I can’t really explain. These lights are a way of humanity saying that no matter how dark the world seems, hope is here to stay.
Emotionally intelligent people recognize their emotions as responses, not accurate gauges, of what’s going on. Most of the time, our feelings happen to be related to our own, objective perspective of a situation, not what’s actually going on. So next time when your mind tells you your life sucks (or something on the same spectrum of thought), stop for a second and tell yourself this:
My thoughts are not my reality.
They don’t let their emotions depend on others’ actions.
This is something that we usually hear. We’ve all read the quote: ” Don’t leave the keys to your life in someone else’s hands.” I guess you have. If you haven’t before, now you have!
Realize that your emotions aren’t somebody else’s fault, and therefore, not anyone else’s problem. Tell yourself that whatever you’re feeling is a cause of your own actions, instead of becoming a passive aggressive grumpy person, who blames everyone else for her unpleasant state of mind.
They don’t assume to know what it is that will make them truly happy.
Let go of all expectations of what does or doesn’t make you happy. That is something that will keep changing as you grow. As a kid, drawing might make you smile, while now, you might say it’s playing the guitar.
They don’t think that being fearful is a sign that they are on the wrong path.
In reality, indifference is a sign of being on the wrong track. Fear just means that you care about something so much that you will do anything to protect it. Such fear must be accepted, not condemned. Just don’t let this fear stop you from doing all the things that you want to do in life.
They don’t feel the need to be happy all the time.
They are aware that happiness is a choice, but not a sustained state of joy. It is not humanly possible to experience only one emotion your entire life. It doesn’t matter if that emotion is the best feeling in the world. Like happiness.
It is important that we understand that happiness is a choice, not a sustained state of joy. It is important that we allow ourselves to experience every feeling we encounter, without trying to manipulate it. The more you let go, the more you’ll feel free.
They don’t think that infallible composure means emotional intelligence.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from my half yearly exams, it’s that just because you don’t make mistakes, it doesn’t mean that you are intelligent. In most cases, it happens to be the opposite. To become truly strong, you must be willing to try, and fail miserably, many times. The more you fail, the more you know how not to fail the next time. That’s true intelligence.
They don’t think that their feelings will kill them.
This is something that I openly struggle with on a lot of occasions. I often get into a negative thought spiral, arising from my self-doubts, and before you know it, I’m questioning my existence as it were the weirdest thing that ever happened in the universe.
Over the months. I have realized that a feeling is definitely not going to shape my life (unless I want it to), and so it’s not worth losing sleep over. I’ve realized that all feelings, however ecstatic or depressing in nature, will pass with time, and so they are really not something that you should contemplate your life over.
They don’t just become close friends with anyone.
In her book How To Be A Bawse, Lilly Singh says that your mind is a huge fortress. Only you know all (or most) of its winding paths and mazes. You can invite people over for dinner to the ballroom in your fort, you might take a few on a tour of your private gallery, but you wouldn’t show someone all the little roads and rooms, would you?
I find this to be a great analogy to show that we shouldn’t really open up to each and every person who enters our lives. We must be mindful and fully aware of who we allow into our lives and hearts.
They don’t confuse a bad feeling for a bad life.
Does this statement need any explanation, really? I think I might just make a quote out of this. Let it be your motivation for today.